Great Expectations

My little boy, Thomas, is a Directioner (that's a One Direction fan to the uninitiated).  I've become familiar with the boys via parental osmosis and have to say that in the grand scheme of boybands they fare pretty well.  Staying true to the original blueprint of The Monkees without any attempts to become credible like Another Level (Who? - exactly) they toe the boyband line and their huge international success shows how beautifully they are playing the game.  These boys can do no wrong but I feel they have just made their first mistake.

They have called their new single Best Song Ever.

Now, if you're going to call your song Best Song Ever, you better make sure it's pretty darn good.  It isn't. 

I understand what One Direction are trying to achieve here.  It's a fun, cheeky title but they've run the risk of appearing arrogant.  You can't self-announce brilliance.  Rather like Lady Gaga proclaiming herself a gay icon, it reeks of self-grandeur.  You have to wait for the homos to herald you, you can't jump that gun.   Likewise you can't call your song, Best Song Ever, you have to record the best song ever and wait for people to recognise its brilliance and then elevate it to classic status.  Please see Bohemian Rhapsody, Hotel California and Good Vibrations.

Yet, occasionally someone can pull off the rare feat of a confident title. 

When Holly Knight and Mike Chapman wrote a song called The Best, they were more intent on constructing a four-minute pop gem than any cheesy-title-gimmickry.  When the song was first serviced to scratchy-voiced Welsh harpy Bonnie Tyler it didn't exactly set the world on fire but one year later when it was picked up by powerhouse pop legend, Tina Turner, it turned into a monumental transatlantic hit.  Endless rotation on local radio may have numbed your ears to its brilliance but if you take the time to actively listen to it again you will notice how beautifully-crafted it is.

From its throbbing bass notes establishing the heartbeat of the song through to Tina's frustrated vocals at missing her betrothed, they both build beautifully until they unite in the crescendo that is the unmistakable anthemic chorus.  Yes, this is the best song Holly Knight and Mike Chapman have written and the best song that Tina Turner has performed.  It's prominence on playlists at weddings and funerals also shows that it has stood the test of time and is undeniably a pop classic.  Now here's the simple lesson; You can get away with it if you deliver the goods.

My daughter, Jemima, is a Dickens Head (that's a Charles Dickens fan) and she was very quick to point out to Thomas that artists of true genius and standing can confidently bestow their work with a grand title.  She used Dickens' 13th novel as the example.  Great Expectations.  She generously concluded that if One Direction reached their 13th album then they could give it a confident title.  She's not silly. 

One Direction's audience has an average age of 8 and those kids can smell a rat.  If you hype up a song as the Best Song Ever then you better give them the best song ever.  Perhaps the most telling proof in this whole misjudged marketing campaign is in the pudding.   After weeks of endless hype and promotion The Best Song Ever entered the charts this week.  At number two.  So not the best song ever then.  Actually 'Number Two' would have been a better title.  Coz it stinks.