The Circle Is Magic

I have a group meeting at one of my clients this afternoon and I'm dreading it.  They always hold their meetings with everyone sat round in a circle.  Ever since Kevin Smith's birthday party where I accidentally tore off two sheets of wrapping paper bringing Pass The Parcel to an abrupt end, I've felt anxious in a ring.  How was I supposed to know his dad was timing the music so birthday boy would win?  Didn't he have enough presents already?  Too bad, all disapproving eyes were on me, the jerk in the circle.  This anxiety has stayed with me - I once had to leave a theatre-in-the-round production of Carousel coz I got motion sickness.  True story.

I just feel exposed, there's no corner to hide in and that's exactly why experts now inform us that a circular configuration is the most conducive for collaboration.  If we can see all the people, all the time, then we are a cohesive unit.  Group relations are more successful and everybody's ideas are listened to equally.  We also focus more effectively in a circle, it's much harder to check our smartphones or catch forty winks when we are in full view of our colleagues.  We are also more considerate and respectful of others when all eyes are on us.

A circle makes us equal, there's no-one sat at the head, so although the directors are present, all our thoughts and ideas are of a similar value.  We are the Knights of the Round Table.  If only the Last Supper was held at a round table things might have ended more amicably.  For clarification, I'm not talking about the one with Jesus, I mean my wedding reception when I married the kids' mother.  Although one small mercy of having that meal at the straight head table meant I didn't have to sit opposite her mother who has the eating habits of a ravenous warthog.  Top Tip: If going to a restaurant with the in-laws, always grab the seat next to them, never opposite.  Watching your mother-in-law chomp on a chicken leg with half of her starter still lodged in her beard is not appetising.

If you have something disgusting in your eyeline, it's difficult to avert your gaze.  This is why, this afternoon, I shall sit adjacent to the portly accounts manager.  Last week, I made the mistake of sitting opposite him and I just couldn't take my eyes off the limp wisps of belly hair poking through the gaps between his shirt buttons which were straining to restrain him.  You don't want to look at it but you can't help yourself.  It's like Katie Hopkins.

Similarly, it's not a good idea to sit opposite the office hottie as it can be too distracting.  Like those poor police inspectors who had to cross-examine Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, if both eyes aren't on the ball, it's harder to beaver away.

Putting my own discomfort aside, these meetings are in fact the quickest and most effective I attend.  Nothing has to be repeated and participant engagement is high, everyone has equal opportunity for input and the team co-operates well.  It's noted that work which happens outside of a circle tends to be more individual and maverick.  Maybe that's the kind of guy I am?  After all, I did once take a taxi to the McDonalds' drive-through.  I like to think outside the box so I don't like sitting in a circle.  That makes sense but in terms of collaboration it is the circle that is magic, it brings us together and gives us a sense of union that is only surpassed by the Hokey Cokey on an E.  Remember that one for your next office party.