How The Jesus Monkey Could Help The Chinese Zoo.

It seems that pop stars aren't the only ones faking it these days.  A zoo in Luohe, China recently hit the headlines for trying to pass off a dog as a lion.  Visitors to the zoo expecting a close-up encounter with the king of the jungle actually came face-to-face with a Tibetan mastiff dog instead.  Now, there is a certain similarity between the beasts but when the 'lion' started barking, it confirmed the visitors' suspicions.  Further reports claim the zoo are also masquerading a fox as a leopard and rats as snakes.

A spokesman said 'they were doing their best in tough economic times'.  Who can deride that?  Their creativity and determination should be applauded, the biggest mistake in business is giving up, they found a way to keep the zoo open and it has resulted in worldwide exposure.  Maybe not the greatest kind of publicity, nobody likes to be a laughing stock, but there is a way they could turn this to their advantage.  How?  By taking a lesson from this 82-year-old Spanish lady.

Twelve months ago this week, in the small Spanish town of Borje, amateur artist Cecilia Gimenez attempted to restore a Jesus fresco on display in her local church.  Her alterations to Ecce Homo, or 'Behold The Man', resulted in the Son of God looking more Kong than Christ, in fact, the piece has now been unofficially renamed Ecce Mono or 'Behold The Monkey'.  The global derision levelled at Gimenez hurt her so much it brought on a panic attack and she took to her bed to recover.  Then a steely Spanish resolve kicked in and she decided to face her critics down.  She put on an art exhibition of her other work with Ecce Mono as the centrepiece.  To date, it has brought 40,000 visitors to Borja boosting the local economy and raising over £50,000 for a local hospice.  Gimenez has also signed a merchandising contract which will see her receiving a cut of profits from postcards, mugs and fridge magnets.

This is the time when the Chinese zoo should be painting donkeys to look like zebras and sticking kitchen-roll-inners to horse's foreheads so their menagerie could boast a herd of unicorns.  Pigs with hosepipes can be elephants and spray-painted pigeons become parrots.  Simple.  Once word spreads, business will boom as every man and his dog flocks to see the shit zoo.