Make Your Next Presentation a Masterpiece

I studied art at college but my dreams of being a working artist in adult life were soon bypassed when the need to actually make a living was realized.  I dabbled a bit over the next few years and even convinced my then-wife to let me convert the spare room into an artist studio but that too got binned when the kids came along.  Damn them.  Why couldn’t I have stayed single and gone mad like the Grand Masters? 

I no longer practise art as such although wandering around The Met and MoMA this weekend made me realize how much of my art training I use in my corporate work.

It’s easy to see how working on a project or pitch can mirror the process of creating a piece of art.  First comes the desire or concept, then research and sketch, on to the construct and mould, then finally tweak and present.  The similarity of the structure is apparent yet we don’t allow ourselves the flexibility and creativity in the boardroom which the freedom of the artist studio fosters.

The initial stage of a business project or pitch is allowed to be a little crazy.  We brainstorm and farm ideas and kid ourselves we are being radical knowing full well we will rein ourselves back into our corporate limitations during the next part of the process.  In the art world we allow ourselves to go down different avenues for longer, we may realize during the construction of the subject that the background isn’t quite the right color so we bring out our palette and make the necessary changes.  We are more open and relaxed.  Even though we have tighter time limitations in the world of business, it helps to remain flexible for further down the process line.  Even though you have invested time in an idea and the deadline is looming, if something isn’t working, don’t press on in spite of it.  Don’t be afraid to look back and see what alterations can be made to accommodate your new brilliant idea.

When you stand in a gallery and look at a painting you see the bigger picture.  You observe it as a whole.  Take a look at The Storm by Munch.  It has a fantastic atmosphere.  There is a lot of movement in the painting which draws you in and almost sweeps you up into the storm itself.  It’s a remarkable artistic achievement.  Nobody is stood in MoMA thinking the windows of the house are not uniform (apart from me).  People accept it as part of the composition, it’s simply the style of the piece and the end result is a resounding success.

Whilst I was at college, I supported myself painting theatre backdrops, I would sweat and toil over each branch of each tree.  My mentor told me to stand back.  When the audience are seated, they see the forest.  Nobody’s trip to the theatre was ever ruined because they felt the top branch of the third tree to the left was a bit skewiff.   Don’t sweat over the minutiae.  People will listen to your ideas and presentation as a whole, they won’t scrutinize every word.  Your passion will be apparent and your choice of tie will have no bearing on the outcome (unless it's a ‘comedy’ one - biggest misnomer ever - there is no such thing as a comedy tie).   

COMEDY TIES - Just say NO

Don’t be afraid to show your workings.  Some presentations are so clinical they are devoid of personality and spark.  Look at any Van Gogh up close and the work is only heightened by each obvious sweep of his paintbrush.  It adds something tangible. 

Artists such as Chuck Close aren’t afraid to show the process.  Step up close to his outstanding portrait Lucas I and you can see the pencil lines he used to initially plot his canvas.  Most people wouldn’t even see this, they just see the whole of his majestic portrait. Those who do get close enough to see the graphite are there because they have been drawn in, not because they are scrutinizing for flaws.  The proof of his workings only add to the overall piece.  Have the confidence to show your individuality.

Plan your next presentation or pitch with a more artistic approach.  Throw off the shackles of corporate convention.  The business world can be a very staid place.  Splash some color upon it.  It’s the difference between a piece of work and a masterpiece. 

Controversial Magazine Covers Are Good For Circulation.

Today, in WH Smith, as my eyes scanned the magazine stand, I paused on the latest cover of Vogue and mentally thought I needed to buy it.  WHAT???!!!  I’ve never bought a copy of Vogue in my life... 

This month’s issue has a cover shot of fat-chick-du-jour Lena Dunham by acclaimed photographer Annie Leibovitz.  Dunham has risen to prominence in the last 18 months via the success of her HBO series ‘Girls’.  The show has been heralded by many a feminist for its unabashed depictions of the ‘normal’ female form.  Dunham often gets her odd-shaped titties and ass out causing plenty of white middle-class feminists to trumpet the arrival of a new saviour as if she was single-handedly responsible for halting female genital mutilation in the third world.  So, naturally, they are all aghast that she has agreed to be a Vogue cover model and even more incensed she had been airbrushed.

Online feminist rag, Jezebel scored an own goal when they offered $10,000 for the un-airbrushed photos of Dunham.  Publishing them on their own site, they helpfully provided the reader with arrows pointing out Dunham’s physical flaws.  So much for the sisterhood.  A backlash ensued fuelling publicity for the issue which must have seen hard-faced fashion matriarch Anna Wintour rubbing her hands with glee.  The very feminists who had lobbied the fashion industry for years to display more realistic female forms finally had a fat girl on the cover of Vogue and they responded by deteriorating into Mean Girls mode.  The fashionistas are responsible for another eating disorder as fourth-wave feminism began to ingest itself.

Dunham does an important job on her TV show.  Her bold presence has empowered countless chubby chicks against the norm of Baywatch Babes and Sticks In The City.  When she accepted Vogue’s invitation, she showed her true colours.  She is first and foremost a celebrity, rather like Madonna’s humanitarian efforts, her heart is in the right place but money and exposure come first.  The cover of Vogue is way more delicious than any feminist statement.  

The contrived decision to use Dunham as their cover star created a media frenzy which saw this month’s Vogue shot shared extensively.  The free advertising was so effective it resulted in me thinking I wanted a copy.  That’s quite the marketing achievement.

Controversial magazine covers are not new.  People still reference the naked and pregnant Demi Moore Vanity Fair shot and that hit the newsstands more than twenty years ago.  More recently, Rolling Stone’s decision to put Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the front cover showed an appalling lack of taste and was greeted with much opposition.  Protestors called for a boycott and some vendors pulled the magazine from its shelves.  The furore resulted in Rolling Stone doubling their sales compared to the same period the previous year.

It’s not just the celebrity publications who go for the shock factor.  Bloomberg Businessweek raised eyebrows with the cheeky phallic graphic below.  They confirmed that "Over the past two years, our more buzzy covers have had a lift on newsstand of up to about 70% above the yearly average.”  Alec Casey, head of circulation at Bloomberg Businessweek  

Also following a controversial cover, subscriptions can increase by 10%.  Retailer backlash is nothing to be scared of either.  When Time magazine published the cover below of a mother breastfeeding her 5-year-old son, many backward Yankee retailers refused to stock it inadvertently increasing sales at other outlets and ultimately driving up web traffic.

Bold and controversial statements are good for publishing.  As circulation figures continue to decline, it would appear creating a fuss is good for business.  Also using the print form to drive business to the online publication is an ingenious marketing tool.  

The fact Vogue managed to get most of their unpaid publicity this month from one of their biggest opposers is evil genius.  As the moral majority continue to get their sensible mom-sized knickers in a twist and inadvertently boost circulation, expect to see many more questionable covers in the future.

Is Napping At Work Ever OK?

Still finding the adjustment to work after the holidays a bore?  Struggling through another afternoon with a bunch of unanswered correspondence and tiresome administration?  Morning caffeine buzz wearing off?  Why not have a nap?

The positives of a power nap have been discussed for a long time but the majority of people still feel bad for taking an afternoon snooze.  Sleeping on the job has always been frowned upon so it's essential to change how we regard it.  Don’t think of it as sleep, think of it as a reboot.  When your laptop becomes sluggish, closing down any open programs and giving it the chance to restart results in better performance.  Going somewhere quiet and closing your eyes for 15 minutes can have a similar effect on your brain.  In fact, studies have shown that a 10-20 minute power nap actually increases productivity. 

I often work from home so catching forty winks is easy.  A private house affords me the luxury of privacy and peace.  If you work in a busy office it's difficult to have a discreet nap.  Where can you go?  The stationery cupboard?  The toilet?  

There are ways how you can have a swift shut-eye without drawing too much attention to yourself.

Do you drive to work?  A cranky old colleague of mine at the Dimbleby Paper Group used to retire to his car to ‘listen to The Archers’ every day.  He used to do this with the driver’s seat in full recline, we could see him from the second-floor window.  He always used to come back in much brighter which was actually better for the office as a whole.  Don’t be afraid to disappear to your car every now and then.  Smokers in your company amass around 30 minutes of extra break time a day as they step outside for their nicotine fix.  Just think they're stealing company time to ruin their bodies, you’re repairing yours.

If you don’t have a car or live nearby, you have to be more resourceful.  Does your office have a meeting room?  Start disappearing there for 20 minutes a day to do some ‘research’.  Build up a routine so people expect this to happen.  You now have the perfect opportunity for a reboot.  20 minutes is ideal for an effective nap and it’s a short enough duration that people won’t wonder where you have gone and come looking for you.

If you don’t have a spare room, you could try the toilet or the store cupboard but if these options are too small or unsanitary then you could try a stealth snooze at your desk.

Die-hard nappers have this down to a fine art.  If you work in a cubicle it’s easier to get away with, open plan offices are harder but not impossible.  The first thing you need to do is position yourself so you have your back to everyone.  Then you have to create the illusion of working. Holding a book will look like you are quietly reading.  As people glance around the office they will not suspect you are sleeping.  Some advanced snoozers silently sit with a pen poised upon a sheet of paper, others place a hand on their mouse having set their screens to automatic scroll.  Sneaky. 

Sleeping in an upright seated position will come with practice.  Remember, you are only catching some light sleep, you’re not bedding down for the night.  Always remember to set your alarm on your phone.  Missing deadlines and meetings will rumble your absent state.

Try not to be jealous but some companies are ahead of the game.  Weary workers in Japan are already taking five in designated nap areas in their offices.  Google also have sleep pods.

Expect your company to follow suit in about twenty years.  If you can stay awake that long.

Sweet dreams.